Delusion

He looked up from the file on his desk when he felt her presence. She never had to say a word. He just knew. He always knew. Something would shift in his soul when she was around.

Removing his glasses, he smiled and leaned back in his chair. He motioned her into his office with one hand. She accepted his unspoken invitation and slithered into the chair across from him.

She felt her cheeks redden as he grinned at her, leaning forward slightly. His eyes bore into hers as he rested his elbows on his desk.

“What can I do for you, Catherine?”

Oh, you know what you can do for me big boy…

“Nothing really. I just stopped by to say goodnight before heading home and was wondering if you needed anything before I left.”

Oh, yeah. I need you to come over here and…

“Lick what?” He caught his slip immediately and hoped that she hadn’t. Judging from the gleam in her eye, she had definitely heard it. Blushing heavily, he corrected himself. “Uh…I mean…LIKE what?”

She grinned seductively at him. “Anything, Gil. Just tell me what you need.”

He smiled widely at her use of his first name. His heart always did somersaults in his chest when she called him ‘Gil’. He slowly stood and walked towards her. He stopped suddenly and sat on the corner of his desk. Reaching out, he grabbed her hand and pulled her to him.

Wrapping his arms around her waist, he looked into her eyes and whispered, “You, Catherine. I need you. I’ve always needed you.”

Shocked, she stood there in his arms, speechless. He smiled and moved one hand from her waist to brush through her hair. A thought formed in her mind, and suddenly her speech was restored.

“Gil, what about Sar…”

He quickly placed a finger over her lips. “It’s always been you…don’t you know that? You and Lindsey. I love you both so much. Do you know how much I wish that she was my daughter? I WANT to be her father, Catherine.”

Tears welled up in her eyes. “Gil, don’t say things you don’t really mean.”

“Have I ever lied to you, Catherine? I see Lindsey and my heart stops. She should’ve been ours. I should’ve been her father.”

The tears fell from her eyes, his thumb moved to gently wipe them away. “Catherine...”

“God, Gil...how I wish that I had married you instead of Eddie.”

He smiled as he dried her tears. “I wish I could’ve saved you from him...”

Her tears became light sobs as she saw the truth in his eyes. She softly whispered, “You have, Gil.”

“I’ve loved you for so long now, Catherine. You know that.”

She shook her head slowly, her sobs coming to an abrupt halt at his confession. He tilted his head in puzzlement. “How could you not have known?”

Taking a deep breath, she leaned forward slightly. “I just assumed that because of my former profession, and…”

Her voice trailed off as she felt his lips gently brush across hers. “Never assume…”

He leaned back slightly and looked into her eyes. “You know, Catherine…you’ve always been more than a stripper to me. And your prior profession is part of you are…who you’ve become. I admire you, you know that.”

She looked at him, her eyes full of confusion. “Admire me? Why?”

He laughed lightly and pulled her closer. “Think about it. Think about all that you’ve overcome. Drugs, being a ho...”

She slapped him playfully. “I was a stripper, Gil. Not a ho!”

His laughter grew. “Yeah, but...I like ho’s...can I be your ho, Catherine?”

His fingers gently drew indiscernible designs on the small of her back as he spoke to her. He licked his lips and smiled brightly at her. “Inside of that stripper exterior that you’re so ashamed of, beats the heart of one of the most passionate forensic scientists I’ve ever seen.”

She blushed deeply. “I’m hardly a scientist, Gil.”

He chuckled at her embarrassment. “Of course you are…you just need to experiment more.”

Her fingers pulled at the buttons of his shirt. Looking into his eyes, she ran her tongue across her lips…smiling at his quick intake of air. “Will you be my test subject?”

His heart caught in his throat. He leaned in quickly, whispering one word before his lips captured hers. “Yes.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

He bolted upright in the bed. The cold sweat plastering his curls to his head. His breathing erratic, his pulse racing, his body shaking. If his vocal cords would work, he would’ve screamed.

His sudden movement jarred her from her sleep. Turning to him quickly, her hand rested on his back…gently caressing his cool skin. “Hey…are you okay?”

He slowly turned towards the soft voice and tried to smile. Failing at that attempt, he merely nodded. She smiled sweetly at him.

“Another bad dream?”

He leaned back against the headboard and took a deep breath before looking back into her eyes. With trembling hands, he pulled her warm body against his cool, sweat-drenched skin.

“God, Sara…it was…horrible…”

“Heather?”

He shook his head quickly and held her tighter against him. “No…worse…”

“Worse? Oh God…Catherine?”

After his full-body shudder had calmed, he related the entire dream to his lover. As he finished, she was quiet for a moment. With an odd tone, which he couldn’t place, in her voice she asked one simple question. “So…Gil…um…did it turn you on? Your dream about Catherine?”

He looked at her in shock, his mouth open…bewilderment in his eyes. “NO! God, Sara…NO!”

She bit her lip gently, averting her eyes from his. “So…what did it make you feel?”

His answer was instantaneous. “Nauseous…”

She couldn’t hold her laughter back any longer. He looked at her for a moment, listening to her laughter fill the room, before he spoke.

“Well, I’m glad you find my nightmare humorous.” His voice held a slight tone of annoyance. “I wake up in a panic…and…you laugh at me.”

She poked him gently in the ribs and placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Hey…I TOLD you not to read stories like that before bed…” She snuggled against him and felt him relax. “…Uncle Grissom…”

One syllable came from his lips at the mention of ‘Uncle Grissom’. “Ugh…”

She giggled lightly and shifted her body as he scooted back down under the blankets and pressed his quickly warming body against hers. As he leaned over to kiss her, she looked into his eyes and smiled. “You know…that’s enough to give anyone nightmares…”

He grinned back at her and pulled her into his arms. “So…let’s make something to have nice dreams about…”

Her eyes sparkled as his lips touched hers briefly before he pulled back to look at her. Running her fingers through his curls, she spoke two words quietly.

“Yeah…let’s…”